the four pillars of the balancing act

I've started writing this "blog" without much forethought of what to write. All I know is that I wanted to capture some of the sparks of thought that peppered my time in the wild, and to chat a little on the idea of living well, building businesses, growing a family and other BIG things. That's quite a lot of stuff, so I thought a framework would make engaging with it a little less intimidating. The balancing act as I'm calling it, and the four pillars that comprise it - the folder for my thoughts.

The idea behind the idea was simple. A plan to confine life's wobbly boundaries into some sort of structure, an architecture that houses all the loose ends, unmet corners, and generally noisy mess of existence. A fool's errand most likely, and one started upon many times before by minds far greater. But being an optimistic chap I thought I'd give it a go anyway. This led me to the four pillars... Health, Love, Purpose and Comfort.

Health

The cornerstone of any life, without it you are no more, so poof, there goes the need for the other three. To paraphrase Benjamin Franklin, being "healthy, wealthy and wise" were the three goals for any aspiring up and comer in his day. Since then, everything from popular works by Peter Attia, Matthew Walker, and Dan Buettner¹ to longitudinal studies led by The WHO and Harvard² have agreed, being healthy is generally pretty handy, so it's heartily encouraged.

I've broken health into three sections; mental health, physical health and sleep. By tackling each one of these non-negotiables, I hope to wrestle my health into fighting form.

Love

Romance, friends and family, community. These three big hitters all get a mention in my section on love. The Harvard Study of adult development² is the world's longest running study of adult life (it began in 1938). The big takeaway from this - famously summed up by the director of the program, Robert Waldinger - is that "Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period."

I couldn't argue with that. And neither should you. Investing in the relationships around us help in turn to define us; anchoring us when we feel adrift, comforting us when we're in pain, and expanding our narrow view of life into multiple dimensions of shared connected experience. They are the light and the shade, and everything in between. Ignore this at your peril.

Purpose

The big P. I feel like an old man saying this, but it increasingly feels like we're in a global crisis of meaning. (I've recently become a father so I can now say these types of things). This Goliath of a story is having a few potshots taken at it by the balancing act's little David. They are: work, wisdom, and self-actualisation and transcendence. (I know, I cheated a bit on the last one).

Here's a double-decker quote for you. "He who has a why to live can bear almost any how." Credit due to both Viktor Frankl and Nietzsche (whom Frankl was quoting). This has more recently become popularised in the works of social commentators such as Simon Sinek⁴, but the core truth remains; people need a purpose otherwise we're just listless apes moseying around.

I think this purpose manifests in the three groups above. Work, wisdom and self-actualisation feel pretty bang on - they're where most of the purpose in our lives is going to be centred. As for transcendence? This one's going to be interesting to explore. As a lapsed believer being steadily drawn back to some form of Spirituality, I'm ready for this ride of exploration.

Comfort

Where it all began. Mr Maslow⁵ was the direct influence for this fourth pillar. I rejiggled his physiological and safety pillars into something dimly resembling their more respectable forefather. They are finance, home, and joy.

So, finance. Sickening I know. Now, I'm not advocating for the Silicon Valley, private jet, build your own digital currency type of wealth, but finance is important. More doesn't always make you happier, but it does if your starting point is below a certain threshold. Past this, it makes less of a difference⁶. So, I think it's sensible to focus on getting past that point (and staying there). Having a stable home (physically and emotionally) is important, and nobody's going to say no to more joy in their life.

These are more than the simple 'trappings' of a successful life, they are often the day to day reality, and if you skip over these then you'll likely teeter and come unstuck later down the road. So, it's best to ensure you've got these in hand as well.

So, there you have it. A brief whistle-stop tour through the dimly lit backstreets of my mind. I have some rough bearings on how to shape this thing going forward, now I just need to explore the destinations as we go. Easy. Probably.